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Being single used to conjure up ideas of the proverbial wall flower at the dance, the outsider missing out on all the happy hormones, the honeyed togetherness, the kissing and cuddling; or the tearful one sitting at home Bridget-Jones-style with a tub of ice cream, excluded from the terrific fun that couples always seem be having.
But today, being single is quite the adventure. Many people are consciously choosing to be single while they focus on their careers, travel, studies, spiritual path, personal growth or other exciting pursuits. The lure of freedom, choice and time is captivating. Close friendships provide intimacy and there’s always the great outdoors, your furry friend, hobbies, or movies to keep you company. Even more than that, cultivating time on your own has many powerful benefits.
In solitude the mind gains strength and learns to lean upon itself. – Laurence Sterne
Embracing and celebrating being single as a vital opportunity for spiritual and personal growth, opens up the pathway for phenomenal wisdom, clarity and gifts to emerge. If you can truly learn to enjoy your own company, you will give yourself a lifetime free from loneliness. Being one half of a couple doesn’t immunise you against feeling lonely, but relishing solitude does. Loneliness is something we all feel, even when we are with someone. Sometimes we can feel even lonelier in a relationship than when we’re single, as we have more expectations of the person we’re in relationship with, and when these are unmet we fall even harder. We can also feel lonely in a group of friends or in a crowd. Loneliness (feeling alone) is vastly different to solitude (being alone). Solitude is essential for inspiration, self-growth and spiritual awareness.
Today being single is quite the adventure.
Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone. – Paul Tillich
There are many amazing advantages to spending time alone and getting to know yourself outside of a partnership.
1. Being Single Gives You the Opportunity to Truly Get to Know Yourself
When you’re in a relationship how much energy goes into the other person? So much, right? While you love those romantic beach walks and candle-lit dinners, your time and space for yourself is severely limited and it’s so easy to get caught up meeting other people’s needs and neglect your own. Spending time alone, you have a real opportunity to get to know yourself, to work out who you are, why you’re here and what you have to say. Solitude can help us develop self-confidence, inner power and an unshakeable solidity in ourselves.
2. Solitude Reboots Your Brain and Your Nervous System
Being alone is a deeply revitalising practice. Time alone allows us to order our priorities according to what we need, instead of focusing them on the needs of others. The more we take time to be alone, the more mindful we become, and in this sacred space of stillness solutions arise more easily. Our nervous system is overstimulated and overwhelmed by all the demands put on us daily. Being single gives you the opportunity to carve out regular time to reboot yourself, and this is positive for your health long-term and your capacity to respond to stress and trauma.
